Drinking was only the Side Effect to my Actual Problem

 

“I always thought, if I could just figure out a way to stop drinking my life would get much better…and I could live a “normal” life…”

I’m from Blanchard, Oklahoma, and I have been an alcoholic for approximately the last 30 years. I have had 3 failed marriages, countless good jobs lost, all of my relationships with my friends and family members ruined, all due to my drinking. I could go on and on for days. I’ve tried everything imaginable to quit drinking. Late night TV ads selling some gimmick, countless books on how to quit, a 3 month inpatient treatment center, hundreds of AA meetings etc. I would try anything to quit and it didn’t matter how much it cost. Nothing worked so I even tried to kill myself several times.

I always thought if I could just figure out a way to stop drinking my life would get much better. People would trust me, my relationships would get better and I could live a “normal” life. I didn’t realize it until I got here (The City Rescue Mission) that all this time I had been “putting the cart before the horse”. I had been trying to stop the side effect (which was my drinking) rather than trying to fix the actual problem.

“I had been trying to stop the side effect (which was my drinking) rather than trying to fix the actual problem.”

I, just like most of you, do not like change. I was so bad but I knew something had to change. So I came here, hopeless, but with an open mind and eventually an open heart. When I walked through the door to the City Rescue Mission, I knew very little about religion or the bible. I knew that Noah built the ark and Jesus walked on water and that was about it. I didn’t go to church very often when I was growing up unless I spent the night at a friend’s house and they went to church. I didn’t go much as an adult either and if I did it was just to appease someone. Since I was never around it I didn’t know very much about it. When the topic came up I tried hard to avoid it because talking about it made me feel stupid.

“My actual problem wasn’t drinking. My actual problem was trying to control everything in my life.”

As I started learning about the bible, I got interested and it started making sense so I got more interested. I realized (among many other things) that I have always tried to control things that I had no control over. My actual problem wasn’t drinking. My actual problem was trying to control everything in my life. My trigger to drink was almost always when something that I had planned didn’t go the way that I had planned it or when something terrible happened that I had no control over, or when it couldn’t be explained why it had happened. That is when I was off to the liquor store.

Now that I have found and put Jesus first in my life, the biggest change I have noticed is the peace that I now have. I have never had peace in my life up until now. Everything seemed to always be a fight. I’ve already been told by several of my friends and family members that they can see a huge change in me. I can tell a big difference in the way I feel about myself and the world in general.

“I have never had peace in my life up until now.”

I would like to encourage everyone to have an open mind and an open heart. Don’t be afraid of change. Try something different. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. If you need change in your life, take the time to actually do it. We only have one shot in our earthly lives so make it count.

“Don’t be afraid of change.”

I would like to thank all of the staff and clients for all that you’ve done. I will be forever grateful for the City Rescue Mission in all that it has done for me. I would also like to thank God because he is the one that put it in my path on my way to walk with him forever.

I have never felt more confident than I do right now.

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